i know you
she said she knew me as she raced across the field
the grass ruffled through her toes
her innocence reflected upon the dew
she giggled, the way you would when you were too young to know anything
suddenly, the sun disappeared
the field was just gray wisps
everything was gray
everything was gone
i was alone
but her laughs still rang through my ears
brightness piercing into my gray ears
threatening to swallow me whole
to take me in my entirety to a lighter world.
i felt the lasting gusts of wind rush across my skin
allowing me to feel the opposite of stillness, of what i had felt for so long
she yelled over the sound
i know you
i wanted, no, i needed to escape her
she haunted my thoughts
i began conspiring
did she know me the way i knew the wind would always blow?
or
the way that i knew i would never laugh like her again?
there was no way she knew me
not a chance
she frolicked too gracefully, smiled too vibrantly, to have known.
but, i couldn’t be sure
so i ran as far away as i could
her chuckles echoing in my ears as the air whipped across my face
less stillness. . . less darkness
it felt good to run like her
but i didn’t dare lie to myself
deprive myself of the dark truth
that i was running in fear
she claimed to know someone who never should have existed in her world
it was my fault
i surrendered to the light for far too long
only bad things happen when you go where you don’t belong
